If I asked you to list your limiting beliefs, you would probably struggle. That is not a failure of self-awareness. Beliefs are invisible by design. They do not feel like opinions you hold, they feel like the way things are.
I am not the creative one. I am bad with money. Nobody in my family went that far. Once a sentence like that becomes background truth, you stop testing it. And an untested belief quietly writes your decisions for the next twenty years.
Where they come from
Most limiting beliefs were formed early, and most were once useful. A child who was mocked for speaking up learns that visibility is dangerous. That belief protected them then. Thirty years later it is the reason they will not put themselves forward for a promotion they are more than qualified for.
Some arrive later, after a painful failure. One rejected proposal becomes I am not good at pitching. One bad relationship becomes I always choose wrong. The mind generalises to save time, and the generalisation outlives its usefulness.
How to spot yours
- Listen for absolutes — always, never, everyone, nobody
- Notice where you feel resigned rather than disappointed
- Watch for the goals you talk about but never plan
- Ask what you would attempt if the outcome were guaranteed
- Pay attention to what makes you defensive, that is usually a protected belief
Why arguing with them fails
People try to overwrite a belief with an affirmation and wonder why it does not stick. Your mind will not accept a claim it has no evidence for. Say I am confident to a nervous system that has spent decades bracing, and it will politely disagree.
What works is a smaller, more honest step. Move from I am bad at pitching to I have pitched badly before and I am learning. That is credible, so the mind allows it. From there, evidence can accumulate.
The emotional layer underneath
A belief is held in place by a feeling. Usually shame, sometimes fear, occasionally loyalty to a family who believed the same thing. This is where coaching alone can stall, and why my sessions combine mindset work with inner child healing and Reiki. When the feeling underneath is released, the belief loses its grip without a fight.
One belief at a time
You do not need to dismantle your entire psychology. Choose the belief costing you most right now. Trace where it came from. Find one piece of evidence against it. Take one action your old belief would have vetoed.
Do that repeatedly and something strange happens. You look back after a year and realise you are attempting things that used to feel impossible, and you cannot quite remember when they stopped feeling that way.
Written by
Rashmi N Bhartia
Life & Mindset Coach, Healing Coach and Reiki Grandmaster. Recipient of the Healer Luminary Award 2024, with 8,000+ lives transformed through coaching, chakra healing and inner child work.
